I admit it. I sometimes have these thoughts of being tired of the journey through life and just want to give up. There are times when I get tired of the hurt, or the rejection, or whatever, and just want to pull out the old white flag of surrender and say “I give up. I can’t do it. I can’t take any more.”
Well, the other day I had an experience where I felt I was in a coma and my spiritual self was walking around the halls of a hospital and even chatting with other spiritual beings while my physical body was lying in a hospital bed comatose. It was as if I was “free” at one level, but not free on another. One part of me was just breathing in and out completing my physical life journey and being fed with a feeding tube. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t read. I didn’t do anything except lay in a coma in that hospital bed. I could hear and could tell when a caregiver was kind and compassionate, as well as breathe in and out. That was about it. I was physically immobile, but my spiritual self was free to wander.
In that moment of awareness, I had the realization I had the choice of just breathing in and out until the job was done, or I could stop complaining and enjoy the ride.
Since that experience I have made some changes in my life. I released some of the things that made me feel that constant source of hurt and pain. I’m also taking more pleasure in those little daily events, you know, like being able to get out of bed, being able to eat food, being able to flip the station on the TV to what I want to see. Those little choices now seem to give me more pleasure, and with this, I seem to be enjoying the journey more.
Sure, there are still those things that trigger feelings of sadness or despair in my life, but even that seems different in contrast to being in a coma. My perspective has now changed.
Well, the other day I had an experience where I felt I was in a coma and my spiritual self was walking around the halls of a hospital and even chatting with other spiritual beings while my physical body was lying in a hospital bed comatose. It was as if I was “free” at one level, but not free on another. One part of me was just breathing in and out completing my physical life journey and being fed with a feeding tube. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t read. I didn’t do anything except lay in a coma in that hospital bed. I could hear and could tell when a caregiver was kind and compassionate, as well as breathe in and out. That was about it. I was physically immobile, but my spiritual self was free to wander.
In that moment of awareness, I had the realization I had the choice of just breathing in and out until the job was done, or I could stop complaining and enjoy the ride.
Since that experience I have made some changes in my life. I released some of the things that made me feel that constant source of hurt and pain. I’m also taking more pleasure in those little daily events, you know, like being able to get out of bed, being able to eat food, being able to flip the station on the TV to what I want to see. Those little choices now seem to give me more pleasure, and with this, I seem to be enjoying the journey more.
Sure, there are still those things that trigger feelings of sadness or despair in my life, but even that seems different in contrast to being in a coma. My perspective has now changed.
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